Sci-fi is always a gamble. It’s not full of stories that are for everyone, and there’s generally a lot to pick apart in the genre’s film and television offerings. But when sci-fi works, it truly works, with movies and shows that go on to become some of the most beloved of all time. That is not the case for this film; the most expensive indie movie ever made (we’re talking a $180 million budget) that became a notorious box office flop, failing to land with either critics or audiences. And it seems that it’s never escaped that legacy, failing to achieve any sort of cult classic or so-bad-it’s-good status. But if you’re willing to take a gamble on a movie that always manages to perform well once it hits streaming, easily taking the #1 spot on whatever platform it lands on, then pull up HBO Max on August 13th.
Starring Cara Delevingne and Dane DeHaan, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets fell victim not only to strange casting choices, but also to a story that genuinely could not figure out what genre it wanted to be, with rumors long dogging the film that so much was changed in post-production that it went through seven versions before the final cut was released. Set in the 28th century, it centers on special operatives Valerian and Laureline as they’re forced to work together to maintain safety and security at the human-populated outposts throughout the galaxy. But violent forces now oppose Alpha, a city where all species have come together to form a peaceful, thriving metropolis, and it’s up to these two agents to save the universe.
The movie’s ratings were pretty dismal, pulling in only 47% from critics and not faring much better with casual viewers at 53%. The main complaint? Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets fell victim to putting style before any sort of substance, becoming a film with a plot too convoluted to make any sense and relying on visual aesthetics to push it forward. Describing his experience with the film, which he rated a 1.5 out of 5 stars, critic Keith Garlington said, “a nearly 140-minute slog through poor storytelling, boring characters, laughably bad dialogue, and CGI overload.”
And casual viewers weren’t much more impressed than their critic counterparts, having the same issues with the poor writing and odd chemistry present throughout the film. “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is a baffling example of how a massive budget can produce such an underwhelming film. Despite an intriguing sci-fi premise and a few stunning visuals, almost everything else falls flat,” said one viewer. Apparently, money really can’t buy taste—or the knowledge of how to write a story.
